Thursday, 28 April 2011

Wedding Bells

I have left Jeeves to sort out the cat and iron the shirts before we head off tomorrow to the charming village of Chutley Wootley. It's somewhere to the far north of here I think he said.

It's not every day one is invited to the wedding of a daughter of a man of the cloth. And when that man is good old Basher Banningham Banningham the reply in the affirmative left chez nous faster than Charlie's Darling was out of the starting blocks in the 230 at Sandown last week. Basher is a legend in Chutley Wootley. They say he speaks the local lingo now like a native and is partial to the ale brewed in those parts. His thundering oration at the wedding breakfast has been eagerly awaited in those parts for weeks.

His daughters are gems. Basher says the men of the village have even been known to fight amongst themselves over whether Sarah is a diamond and Amy a ruby or Amy is a sapphire and Sarah a pearl.

It's a rum thing but my dear friend Madeline Bassett will hitch her fetlocks to some prince guy tomorrow in London. Matrimony must be catching. Along came the invite but even Jeeves could not find a way of making us appear at Westminster Abbey tomorrow and Chutley Wootley on Saturday what with the state of the roads between the two and steam trains be known to disappear from the tracks never to arrive in those northern parts. I almost heard a sigh of relief on the telephone when I conveyed the news to Aunt Dahlia that I was already tied up.

Barmy Fungy Phipps is a man with an eye for the sporting chance. He told me that so much of the folding stuff has been placed on the Royal Wedding running in the Crabbie's Alcoholic Ginger Beer Handicap Chase at Fontwell tomorrow at 530 that the bookies refused to take his bet. So he has speculated a bundle on Madeline being 20 minutes late up the aisle.

So after an hour's banter at the Drones with Barmy and Tubby Prosser our combined brains agreed an each way wager on Madeline and Sarah both being 20 minutes late to the starting post so to speak.

 For once there was nothing in Jeeves form book to help.

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