Thursday, 23 December 2010


Christmas is full of them.

Journeys for Joseph and Mary, for the shepherds and the magi and all to Bethlehem. Some knew the way.  Others like the magi came a distance and took a detour to Jerusalem first even though they had the first ever SatNav.

And this Christmas Mrs FLN all the way to Dallas on her own.  Fighting her way through the snow and the check in queues and seeing all the disappointment of so many stuck at Heathrow these past few days and wondering if she would ever make it. And now she's approaching the Great Lakes as I write this. I am so proud of her.

But she is not quite alone in fact because I am reliably told that those intrepid reindeer Robbie and Rudolf are making the trip as well. Rudolf was all ready to fly Mrs FLN to Heathrow to make the connection. After all a few hundred miles down the spine of England is a mere training outing for Santa's finest the day before Christmas Eve. And they will be keeping a close eye on Mrs FLN all the time she is in the cowboy state.

There are other journeys some of my friends are taking which will not end this Christmas and they are not about going to Bethlehem.  Sometimes those journeys will seem very alone. Yet even then I would be surprised if there isn't a reindeer around somewhere. Watch out for them if you do not know already who they are.

Friday, 17 December 2010

Lord High Executioner

Am I the only one of the planet who is beginning to tire of Mr Julian Assange. 

There is only so much self righteous arrogant priggery a Timelord can take especially when it is the kind of concentrated dose this guy dishes out for our daily consumption. Perhaps it is all that frustrated or not so frustrated testosterone lying around in his system. If I were his host at his mansion retreat I would fear for spontaneous combustion and a nasty hole in the floorboards.

Like all men full of their own importance there is a certain comic touch about our Julian. As judge jury and executioner dispensing his leaks like the thunderbolts of the gods he protests when his targets bite back. How WS Gilbert would have loved him.  

Of course his acolytes turn their fire on those who dare oppose him. Paypal  Mastercard and Visa risk denial of service attacks for withdrawing their services from wikileaks.

So can Timelord now expect the wrath of the Anonymous for daring to publish this blog. Fear not. I  have lodged 3 million replicas in every galaxy of the solar system just in case.

Friday, 3 December 2010

A's bees swarm....

....C sees the bees and seizes them with E's. Whose bees are they?

So went the exam question in Timelord's Roman Law paper a long time ago now. And since then I have had a sort of sneaking admiration for these industrious insects in their hives if not a liking for the honey they produce.

Keeping bees in urban areas has grown in popularity in recent times in line with the ravages of bee colonies by parasitic mites. Timelord has even thought of a hive to the rear of the Tardis. Making illicit honey used to attract a $2,000 fine in New York but now there is a thriving community of bee keepers in Brooklyn. But sadly the bees have started turning red and their honey looks like bright red goo.

Careful detective work has discovered that the bees have been hitting the corn syrup at the local cherry factory in record numbers. They have found out that bins of marinating cherries are moved from one warehouse to another It only takes one bee to find a yummy treat like this and A's bees will swarm there along with C's D's E's and everyone else's. Forget the hard work of pollinating flowers and fruit trees and the like especially in a big city even if it is a mile to get there. And the result is not quite the delicious honey their owners were expecting.

It makes you wonder if the bee hives of Burton might produce marmite flavoured honey. Now there's a thought!