Friday, 8 April 2011

Beware the return of the Sallywufter

There are stories long lost in the annals of the Shire about the rule of the Sallywinder. White haired and well proportioned she wielded her rolling pin like the staff of Gandalf the white wizard.

Hobbits came from miles around to taste her meat pies, her fruit pies, cakes, trifles and, ah yes, her ginger biscuits. No one could withstand her at the card table and her sling shot with a piece of coke smote the fiercest Orc.  Saruman himself cowered in his lair before her.

Years have gone by in the times of Middle Earth. Legend had it the Sallywinder left behind a shaker of magical powers, the possession of which at the time of the birth of a future generation, would usher in the rule of the Sallywufter.

And now the word has passed through the kingdoms of Gondor and Rohan of the pending birth of one who will unleash the power of the shaker and the appearance of the Sallywufter. It is said she slays her foes with her hot iron and overpowers her adversaries with the dust of the earth and the power of her bleach.

And so Sauron sends out his agents to seek the shaker to destroy it. For he knows he cannot withstand the rule of the Sallywufter.

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