It is some years since I last appeared in these parts. Believe it or not there is much to engage the energies of a Time Lord in other parts of the galaxy.
No I have been here these past few weeks to support Count Binface in his noble efforts to win over the voters of Clacton-on Sea. We met on Sigma IX light years before he became the leader of the Recyclons with a 200% majority vote.
I hear that only the current President of the USA has done better but numbers have different meanings depending on where you happen to be in the universe and the kind of grey cells you enjoy.
The Count polled 9,455 votes on election day last Thursday but sadly not enough to save Nigel Farage from further scrutiny of his finances as he returns to Parliament.
However, could there be a whiff of miscounting as Woke Trump Carzee apparently only won 8 votes and the 3 candidates for the Monster Raving Loony Party, Nick the Incredible Flying Brick, Howling Loud Hope, and Baron Von Thunderclap only totalled 61 votes?
I, and no doubt the Count, look forward to hearing the true numbers from Truth Social as a matter of urgency.
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