Cream Tea Wars

Ancient hostilities across the Tamar are being resumed as a coalition of Devon producers applies to our masters in Brussels for "protected designation of origin" status for the Devon cream tea.


Apparently diplomatic efforts intensified at the Devon county show recently when a vast eight foot scone was unveiled with an entire marquee devoted to the bid.


Of course those of us who know about these things appreciate that the Cornish cream tea applies cream on top of the jam not the other way round like its inferior cousin across the river. And the folk in Devon have no chance until they learn to measure in metres and not feet and inches.


So the Cornish should have nothing to fear and indeed might welcome armies of euro flushed bureaucrats from the directorate for food purity (cream tea division descending on their hotels cafes and restaurants for some all expenses paid samplings of the local product.


I know of one gentleman who made it a personal crusade to test out the Cornish fare year by year and here he is polishing off the last few crumbs of a modest two metre scone back in 2005. 


There is of course the Tardis cream tea which is known throughout the galaxy and only just a parsec behind the Tardis apple cake. There has never been any need  for any protected designation for these delicacies. 


Only a padlock on the cake boxes to stop maraudng French tutors scoffing the lot before you can say "bon appetit"!