You never know...

.....just when it might come in handy. Insurance that is. Apparently some 35,000 of our brothers and sisters across the pond took out insurance in 1994 against being kidnapped and eaten by aliens.

You may think that the value of such a policy might have been figuring more highly in Timelord's mind than usual as a result of:

- watching the latest episode of Doctor Who
- the start of the football season and the names of the latest imports to the ranks of our premiership teams
- forgetting to hit the mute button when the Go Compare advert hit the TV screen for the fiftieth time this evening
- spending forty eight hours in Yorkshire

Make an urgent appointment with your broker. Premiums are on the rise.

Mutton Bustin

You may wonder what drives a well balanced Herdwick sheep to dial up long distance and speak to our resident ambassadress in Dallas.

Could it be he thinks Mrs FLN is missing his good looks? Is he worried that she might have become a tea party goer thinking somehow that she might have been lured to one of their rallies by the thought of a cup of best Yorkshire?

No, the truth is he wanted to pick all the news from latest Wool Riders Only Mutton Bustin championship in Dallas. Mutton Bustin is Bronco Bustin for the very young.Riders must be under the age of 6 and weigh less than 27 kilos. The aim is to stay on board the sheep for 6 seconds and with 13,000 competitors over 13 events there is $15,000 at stake in the world championships in California this autumn.

Health and safety, animal welfare, child protection, who cares!!

Wesley has been disappointed that the latest odds are not quoted at Corals in Mere Green and has decided to promote an event at the Coppice School summer fair next year. Sheep weigh in at 200 lb or so which means Wesley need to put in some serious grazing over the next 12 months.

Need your grass mowing. You know who to call!

Out for a Cup of Tea

There was a touch of P G Wodehouse about Sunday's goings on at the Test Match at Trent Bridge when Ian Bell was run out going for a cup of tea.

Just the sort of rum thing that you might have seen at a game of cricket between Bertram Wilberforce Wooster and his friends at the Drones Club.

It was very fitting that Teapot should have been there to witness Mr Bell's sacrifice of himself to the leaf, and even more so when our Indian opponents recalled him to the field of play some 20 minutes later after they had supped their own brew during the afternoon break in proceedings.

What seemed to clinch this demonstration of sportsmanship was the revelation that Mr Bell only drinks the finest Darjeeling. Sadly for them Tim Bresnan the Pontefract all rounder only drinks the Yorkshire variety and is said to oil his bat with the stuff. 90 runs and 5 wickets followed with the Indians slumping to one of their heaviest defeats in years yesterday.

Which left Teapot with the job of explaining Sunday's goings on to her French tutor in his native tongue. Now that is a challenge: even with a three cups of best Yorkshire under your belt!